This is May.
It’s not her real name.
I don’t know who she is.
Let me explain.
I mentioned that my kidney condition came as a shock to me and so does all the things that I needed to adjust to with the fact that had to be under the mercy of lifetime dialysis treatment.
Before it happened, I always thought that I was invincible. I could smile at any problem, solve any difficulty, stay focused under any pressure, stay positive through a rainstorm and all that jazz. Then the diagnose hit me and everything made all sorts of turn, tumble, and summersaults!
When I was starting, I was thinking how “sick” I would look while on treatment, how people would suddenly view me differently….just how “lacking” I would seem. For a short time, it was a big blow to my confidence.
Instead of researching on sad effects of dialysis / kidney failure in general, God whispered that I research on “Survivors”. In the midst of graphic images of side effects was this picture.
There was something about her whole aura. To me, she shone of bright positive energy, strength, intelligence and a “despite of” attitude . Then I realized, “Oo nga naman, bakit ko kailangan magmukahng may sakit?” (Why do I have to look like I’m sick?)
After a quick assessment of her picture, I decided that I want to be like her. The kidney condition would just change my lifestyle and daily schedule but not my attitude and outlook in life.
Fast forward to present day (more than two years later), I’m still me. Adjusted but still learning. Proud of my scars and the battle I fight to survive with every day. Thankful that God wakes up every morning. Educating those who care enough to seriously learn why then see a bulge in fistula arm. I still have my down days sometime but the blessings I have outweighs them. I know I am still more fortunately than most. For this, I am grateful.
I am also proud to say that most people who I new met have no idea that I have this even if they see me everyday. For me that’s a compliment.
I called her May after one of my mom’s clients who looks like her.
Thanks, May, for the inspiring photo.